A.k.a. Never Have I Ever.....
Wow - how time once again has flown! It tends to do that. Particularly when one has a baby (Sophie was born in June this year <3) gets married and moves interstate within the space of six weeks, whilst also having family living in for eight weeks. To top it all off, I went back to work part-time when my Mini Mipa was 3 months aaaand started my own company - because I like to play life on hard mode. Challenging but so much more rewarding.
Speaking of playing - to all the parents out there: let's play a game of 'Never Have I Ever'. Grab a tea, or a glass of wine (or a bottle - no judgement here, parenting is hard sometimes).
Never have I ever.....
Threw a pram in the bushes and drove off frustratedly as the bloody stupid thing would not fold up - only to drive back 5 minutes later as I realised we cannot afford a whole new pram.
Been excited rather than sad on the first day baby went to daycare because yay, freedom!
Spent that first day daycare day drinking mimosa's (or as my friend calls them 'mamosa's' - the drink mamas can have before 11am whilst still feeling sophisticated).
Judged every parent ever for co-sleeping and claim I would never, ever co-sleep - only to have the lack of sleep outweigh the desire to stick to my principles and thus pop baby in my bed every night for about four weeks...
Lovingly stared into someone's eyes whilst they poo.
Watched trash TV at 3am simply to stay awake whilst giving baby the bottle.
Been so tired I cried.
Been so in love I cried.
Been so overwhelmed by how tiny a baby's hands are that I cried.
Been bored to death by reading the same children's books over and over.
Wondered if it is appropriate to read the baby Bridget Jones Diary.
Driven 50 laps around the neighbourhood in the car just to get a baby to sleep.
Been covered in another human's pee, poo and spew - even all at the same time.
Gotten 2 piercings and a viking-style undercut, simply to prove I was ''still cool'' after becoming a mum.
Made sounds I was not even aware I could produce, simply to get a smile out the little one.
Googled ''dopamine hit after baby smile'' and ''can I get addicted to baby smiles or cuddles?"
Also Googled ''is it normal for a baby to cry 10 hours a day?"
Left the bidet toilet spray attachment open after rinsing reusable diapers, went to bed and subsequently flooded the entire house overnight.
Switched outfits 3 times a day.
Bumped my baby's head onto the car when trying to get her into a car seat.
Worried if I caused brain damage by said bump into car.
Not been bothered to switch outfits 3 times and subsequently been rocking the ''baby vomit stains'' look.
Peed myself when sneezing - because... pelvic floors and birthing processes are not friends.
Wondered what it would feel like to leave the house without a massive diaper bag.
Wiped another human's bum. Over. And. Over. And Over.
Cursed the people who say ''dirty diapers are totally not gross when it is your own baby''.
Set a timer to not go in whilst sleep training, only to be convinced that surely she had been crying for an hour and timer was broken when indicating 3 minutes.
Been so resentful at Man for living the bachelor life and drinking cocktails by the pool on exercises whilst the most exciting thing happening for me was a microwave meal whilst spending time with my bestie Netflix and the baby again.
..... If you are a parent you are by now either well and truly tipsy, or full from skulling a liter of tea, depending on the beverage of choice.
All fun and games aside, life has been an absolute rollercoaster this year and it has been as wonderful as it has been hard. I have learned some valuable lessons such as putting my own oxygen mask on first. Cliche and so, so true. I have also learned to love and appreciate my body for being able to grow and carry and birth an entire human! My lovely little belly may no longer have some distinguishable abs, but it is Sophie's first home. And my slightly bigger thighs are the foundation holding up that home. But most importantly, I learned that it has no use to play the martyr and sit around being jealous of Man going away on exercises. Instead I continue to create my own ''mini exercises'' but instead of work trips, I do wine tours, concert visits, long walks and other lovely things in my child-free moments to honour my solo part of The Happy Family Formula. Early on in motherhood I was introduced to this formula which states that in order to have a happy and well-balanced family, time should be spent like this:
Parents: solo time
Parents: kid-free together time
Parent 1 with kid(s): solo time
Parent 2 with kid(s): solo time
Whole family together time
I love this concept as it reminds me we wear different hats: parent, partner, worker, friend, daughter or son, sibling (not necessarily in that order) and that we should alternate them all. After all, everybody would get bored wearing the same hat every day! Even if it is a super comfortable hat, that goes very well with fleece pyjama's, and Netflix, and mamosa's....
Thanks for stopping by - and I promise I will try not to forget about this blog for 9 months again!