A.k.a. The New Chapter
It’s Valentine’s day and just like my 30th birthday, our anniversary and a few other milestones I am celebrating it Bridget Jones’ style: aaaaalll by myself. This aspect of being a Mipa* is something I don’t think I’ll ever get used to. At least Man left a delicious bottle of wine in the fridge for me before taking off on a three-week overseas exercise this morning.
And as I’m writing this post with a glass of that liquid comfort next to me, sitting on the patio of our stunning new house, I realise it’s not all that bad. We are finally reunited – well, not for the next three weeks but we live under one roof again! We made it trough a year of separation, hardship, missing each other and catching up face-to-face for a mere 48hrs once every 6 weeks. We did not grow apart, fall out of love, or doubt our relationship – not even for a moment. It sure as hell was not always easy, but we made it through the year in one piece with a stronger foundation than ever. And…. we even got engaged! Whilst I was visiting loved ones in the Netherlands over Christmas, Man flew in to surprise me and propose to me at 190 meters height in a fancy panorama restaurant, with a ring he designed and my best friend (who’s a jeweller) made. WOW! What a fantastic finale to a crazy chapter in our lives!
And with the engagement, and the reunion, a new chapter has started. Man got his first posting, we moved interstate and we found ourselves an absolute dream house to rent, with lots of space and a gorgeous garden for our dog to run around in. We host friends and family at our eight person outdoor dining set and enjoy the warmer climate and laughing kookaburras. And the very best part are the simple things: going to bed together, waking up together in the morning, enjoying a meal together, shooting each other a smile or a hug in passing – simply sharing a home and a life again.
But… it’s not all rainbows, and unicorns and flowers. Honesty forces me to admit that the first two weeks back together we had some issues reintegrating. A phenomenon that is very common for military couples who have spent prolonged periods apart due to deployment or training. We had to learn to properly communicate again; to re-calibrate. Added in the mix were the stress and physical exhaustion of the move, the relationship hell that is Ikea and my unemployment. The latter is something I struggle with, as I have always had a good career and financial independence. And even though it’s logical that I will sometimes have to rely on Man in the start-up period of every new posting – after all it’s for him and his career that I will be relocating every three years – it’s not easy. I had grossly underestimated the effect lacking a purpose has on my mental well-being and feelings of self-worth. We’re in an area with an incredibly difficult job market to get into and lots more demand than offer. Despite having an amazing resume, rejections keep pouring in.
On the bright side: not working means I get to binge-watch many Netflix series, leave my bra off for the majority of the day and take as many nanna naps as I want! I fill my days mostly with walking the dog, making Man’s lunch (I have seriously never felt so domestic), cleaning, cooking, yoga and applying for job after job. And between folding clothes and doing downward dogs I reflect on missing home – my other home that is the Netherlands. Leaving it after a glorious six week holiday in December to come back Down Under was particularly hard this time around, as the goodbye has never been this permanent. A part of me always thought Man and I would be living in my beloved flat and tiny country by now, indulging in Gouda cheese and complaining about the daily weather, but this new chapter of ours means permanently making Australia the home base. This morning I Skyped a dear friend and said I feel like a desperate housewife who needs a glass of wine, to which he said: “if you’re ever wondering whether you are being an alcoholic, remember this: if you pour a glass at 11.59am or before, you’re an alcoholic. If you poor it at noon, you’re simply a desperate housewife.” Cheers to that!
Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤
* Mipa = military partner, in case you’re new to my blog 🙂